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Don't think about it for too long or you'll go mad staring at the abomination.
A recent trip to our local, relatively speaking, Borders entertainment outlet became the highlight of an otherwise depressingly commercial week. The friendly and knowledgeable staff, thoughtful displays, and aroma of freshly brewed coffee all added to the experience, but it was a discovery in the Gardening section that immediately put a smile on my face. I usually browse that particular section in most book retailers I visit. Gardening has always provided me a great deal of enjoyment, and I can't help but to learn as much as I can on the topic.
Every time I walk into Wal-Mart these days, I am assaulted by one of those annoying dancing and singing Santas. I always wondered if you could "add" lyrics to his program and it turns out that someone figured out how.... complete with videos! Hacked Santa
I thought my chirpy GE alarmclock was bad.... this blowfly alarm clock has it beat hands down. At least this one I could swat and not feel bad. Blowfly Alarm clock
I've been to two craft shows in December; one at the State Fair Grounds here in Des Moines, and the other at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City. These being Iowan Arts & Crafts events, I expected a certain amount of kitsch- that being a whole damned bunch. While I am no fan of the vapid and hokey crafts that dominate markets, the near-universal appeal these items exude, nay, spew forth, effects public attraction. I see this as a positive aspect of kitsch. For the love of God why, you may ask? Numbers. Pure and simple.
Sooooo... work today. Evidently, threat of arrest is an occupational hazard around here. I heard a pounding on the door and some yelling, so I answered it. There was a uniformed private security officer. "Hello," I said to him. "SECURITY!! Put your hands up!" he yelled at me. "What?" "Get your hands where I can see them!" he barked. "Show me some identification!" I calmly handed him my driver's license. "What's going on here," I asked. "I'm kind of working right now." "Is this your real address?" "No, I moved recently. Is there a reason for this?"
Okay, just about every idiot out there has heard that the Mayan calendar(which is supposedly startlingly accurate) either ends entirely or rolls over to another metacycle in 2012 or so, depending on who you're talking to. Well, you can add another crazy as fuck bunch of people to the list. There's some hippies out there who claim that we're actually a bunch of extraterrestrials who got stranded or something on Earth. I guess this rock is a big cosmic Stuckey's and humans are waiting for someone to pick up our reeking hitchhiker asses.
